At the beginning of every year we as people should evaluate what our goals are and how we hope to achieve them going forward, this applies to our love lives as well. If you have been seeking a long term relationship for a while without success it may be due to ingrained beliefs and dating mechanics you are employing that are outdated. Here is our 2019 list of do’s and don’ts to help you find love this year.
1 – DO try new things
This one never gets old. If you always frequent the same places you will continue to meet the same people. Try a new bar/restaurant this weekend, make new friends who can introduce you to people. If you keep to your same haunts every day you will feel like there are no fish in the sea, when you are only stuck in the same puddle.
2 – DONT play hard to get
This is terrible advice that belongs back in the 90’s. When someone is uncertain of how you feel about them, they will not respond well and that can cause any potential relationship to fizzle out. Show interest, ignore the ‘3 day call rule’ and go out again as soon as you feel like it. Your date will appreciate the clarity and it will allow you to really determine if you want to move forward together towards a relationship.
3 – DO evaluate your expectations
This sounds like another way to say lower your expectations but it is not. A mature person should be able to look at what they expect from a partner and match it up with reality. Setting boundaries about financial health for example is healthy, but you need to ask yourself if refusing to date guys under 6 feet tall is realistic or fair.
4 – DONT undervalue yourself
Nobody is out of your league. One more time for the people in the back – NOBODY IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. If you like each other that is it. Don’t let your insecurities prevent you from a successful and happy relationship. Believe you have value as a person and others will see that and be interested.